How To Be More Confident

How To Be More Confident How To Be More ConfidentPosted March 7, 2017, by Vivien Luu Struggle with self-confidence and asserting yourself at work? Dont let that hold you back Here are five simple habits you can develop to build your self-confidence, improve your self-esteem and become a mora confident version of yourself. Lets be honest. Nobody is born confident. Well nobody except Beyonc that is. For the rest of us myself included feeling (and genuinely being) mora confident is an everyday struggle. I never used to care. Until the best manager I ever had told me something that stuck You lack confidence. Its the one thing holding you back. And she welches right. I wasnt being taken seriously at work. My ideas werent being heard. And none of my projects were being prioritised. A lack of assertiveness was killing my career. So I did what anyone else would do. I devoured a Costco-sized bag of chips (worthit dontjudgeme) and Googled the shiitake out of How to be more confident. Unsurprisingly, Google failed me. So I took matters into my own hands. I got advice from experts, people I admired and read up on scientific studies. The tips they gave me Changed. My. Life. It was like switching off the mute button. I started getting pulled into more meetings, people sought out my opinion, and my projects started getting off the ground. So what did I do? Of all the advice I got, these were the 5 simplest habits that had the biggest impact on my confidence. 1. I Stopped Apologising Over-apologising is your worst enemy. It undermines your authority and makes you seem unkoranvers of yourself even if youre not. Worse still youre probably guilty of it without even realising it. I used to apologise for everything. And I mean everything. Id apologise for wanting to speak in a meeting, for being sick, for correcting people when they spelt my name wrong. I was a serial offender. Until this Tumblr post caught my eye It was such a simple and elegant solut ion So I started swapping out sorry for thank you. Old me Sorry for the late response. New me Thanks for being so patient with this. Non-assertive me Im sorry I forgot to make those edits to my article. Assertive me Thanks for pointing that out Ill be sure to make those edits. 2. I Opened Up My Body Language When our body language is confident and open, says body language expert Amy Cuddy, other people respond... unconsciously reinforcing not only their perception of us but also our perception of ourselves. In a nutshell, if you act confident, people around you will think youre confident, and youll feel more confident too. How do we make this happen? According to the experts, you should Sit up straight and stand tall. Keep your chin and head up confident people seldom look down at the table or the ground. Make frequent eye contact when youre talking. Use hand gestures with open palms whenever you speak open palms are an ancient display of truth and honesty. 3. I Stop ped Avoiding Those Difficult Work Conversations You know the ones Im talking about those work conversations that are super awkward or just downright difficult to have. Id been putting off quite a few of these chats. I made up all sorts of excuses that it wasnt that bad, that I was blowing things out of proportion but the truth is, I was afraid of how Id come across or that I wouldnt be able to assert myself. So I bit the bullet. I scheduled a chat with my boss about my salary, and a catch up with my manager to push back on some additional projects that Id inherited. The results? I walked out of both conversations feeling incredible. My boss and manager listened and I came across as...thats right you guessed it more confident. They both respected me for being proactive, for openly discussing issues I was having, and for being someone who was unafraid to speak up. So stop putting off those difficult conversations. Trust me, youll feel a whole lot better afterwards, an d who knows you might even earn yourself a raise 4. I Dressed The Part I hate to say it, but what you wear matters. Every study I could get my hands on told me what I absolutely didnt want to hear that I needed to make more of an effort with what I wore to work everyday. Why? Because people are judge-y. And no, thats not me saying it. Thats what science says Trust me, as someone who thinks doing her hair is putting it up in a bun, and would never sacrifice a sleep-in for having perfect (or any) mascara, I wish it werent true. But the fact is, how you present yourself at work says a lot about who you are, how seriously you take yourself, and can even influencehow focused and competent you are at work. All the science points to the fact that clothes can be very powerful. So I couldnt think of a single reason why I shouldnt be using this to my advantage. So I started to Dress more formally, particularly if I had any meetings or negotiations to sit in on. Even though I w ork in a fairly casual office, I realised that generally, people who dress up, move up. So goodbye tees, hello blazers Wear make-up to work every day. Research suggests that women who wore makeup were perceived as more prestigious and more dominant. Add creative tweaks to my outfits. A study found that when you slightly deviate from the norm (e.g. wearing a red bow tie at a black tie event), you are perceived as being powerful enough to ignore the rules. 5. I Started Saying No No is a powerful word. Its also a word thats exceptionally hard to say if youre anything like me, and hate disappointing others. But the problem is, when you say yes to every task, meeting, project and donut thrown your way you burn out. Trust me. Oh, and you put on 5kg (eep) The reality is, there are only so many hours in a day. And I realised I was better off doing an AWESOME job on four projects, rather than a half-baked job on eight. Pushing back on things I didnt have time for was by far the most em powering habit I picked up. It gave me time to do some seriously great work (which in turn, did wonders for confidence), and my managers began to respect my schedule. They also had more confidence in my ability to deliver projects to deadline. So learn to say no. Trust me. This simple two-letter word will empower you in so many ways. All in all, this was one of my better life experiments. Way better than I can eat 1kg of vegetables every day or Im going to write a fantasy trilogy this year during my lunch breaks. I got a cooler wardrobe, my salary went up and honestly, I feel different like a slightly more centred, authentic and empowered version of the person I was 12 months ago. At the risk of sounding hyperbolic, these 5 habits changed my life. I hope they do for you too ResourcesMy first resumeCover letter for my first jobCareer Insider StoriesShelley Lask - Body Positive Health they can help you maximise your potential and opportunities and help you navigate chall enges and obstacles smoothly. Find out more about how a career coach could help you.